New Years Resolutions of a Student Affairs Professional

New Years Resolutions of a Student Affairs Professional

We work in a field where it’s very easy to forget that we have a life outside of our job; especially for our colleagues who live on campus. As a grad student and new professional, you always hear that you need to take care of yourself and set boundaries, but the excitement of a new job can quickly throw self-care to the backburner. Over the past five years of working in the field, I have slowly but surely learned what works and what doesn’t work for me. Taking my experiences into account, I have listed three of my SA Pro New Years Resolutions (or goals, for those who don’t do resolutions) below.

1.       Learn how to say no.

This is something that I am actively learning at this moment in my life. For the past five years, I have been extremely involved in opportunities and said “yes” every chance I got. I’ve been working hard to be involved, and feel like I’ve been trying to prove myself that I can handle it all, but guess what, I’m human, and I just can’t. Overworking yourself, whether inside or outside of work, is not mandatory and working yourself to death isn’t going to “prove” anything. Yes, I’m an extrovert. Yes, I enjoy being involved and meeting new people. This does not mean that I should be busy every second of my life. I am working to find the amount of time per week that I can actively and healthily engage in opportunities, and limit it to this. Self-Care should be a priority, and sometimes it’s something that needs to be included as an event in my schedule, so I have a reminder. When you type or write it in to your daily routine, then it’s easier to hold yourself accountable and not burn yourself out.

2.       Set better expectations with your students on what works best for you.

I have spent a lot of my “outside of work” time answering messages and/or emails. Heck, I’ve had students text/call me in the middle of the night just to tell me they couldn’t make it to a meeting. This is an easy way to burn out, as it can easily feel like you’re working 24/7. I’ve started working on this this year, but plan to expand on it in 2020. If a student reaches out on a weekend and it isn’t an emergency, I try not to respond. Sometimes, they can even see that I opened the message (and often, it’s accidental because I didn’t mean to click on the notification drop down on my phone) and I still wait until I’m back in the office and in work mode to reply. I do this for a couple of reasons. There’s more margin for error when I’m not in my office with all of my info and files easily accessible to help me find answers. Also, I have a family, and I spend plenty time away from home, that when I get time to spend at home, I’d like to be present on focus on quality time with them.  Lastly, I worry that I’m feeding into the need for a response that we’ve known Gen Z for. I’ve come across many speed bumps with students who need answers in less than ten minutes or else the whole world collides, and while it certainly happens more often these days, it isn’t a reality most of the time, and I’d be doing students an injustice if I were giving in to those needs rather than holding them accountable. We are absolutely here to help and guide our students, but that doesn’t mean we should cater to their comfort zone. Supporting them also means teaching them some life lessons, having difficult conversations, and being an example for what their work/life balance may look like in the future.

3.       Be present

I often find myself so caught up in what I need to get done that I’m not even paying attention to the outside world moving around me. This leads to my being stressed, easily upset/angered, and not giving the deserved attention to my loved ones. This year, however, I have begun studying and practicing positive energy, and it’s changing the way I think. Now, don’t get me wrong, I fail every single day. However, I am actively trying to do better, to be better; a better worker, a better listener, a better person. To me, being present means listening to my fiancé about how his day was when I get home from work. It means paying more attention during a training that won’t necessarily benefit me and taking the information back to those who it will benefit, rather than multitasking through it. It means smiling at strangers and being kind, in a 20-person queue at the post office, even though I only have ten minutes left in my break.  It means taking time to notice the beautiful sunset, rather than speeding to get to where I’m going next. It means paying attention to what is happening in the moment, rather than worrying about the future and what will, or needs to happen. I’ll end on one of my favorite quotes from Simon Sinek’s book Together is Better: A Little Book of Inspiration: “Most of us live our lives by accident—we live as it happens. Fulfillment comes when we live our lives on purpose.”

Whatever holiday you celebrate, I wish you the very best and hope you live your best life in 2020.